He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
