We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
After tacos, we're chasing women.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
