Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
