i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't deserve a penis
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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