Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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