I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
