so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
