no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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