it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
