Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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