You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
