we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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