Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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