I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
