Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
