Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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