So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you win again, gameday.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
