its not stalking. its research.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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