College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
