You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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