he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
