she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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