It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
