I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize