I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
