White coat. Heels.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
