Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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