I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't turn off my feet"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
