ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
