you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize