tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize