sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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