I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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