Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
