there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
