Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
