Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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