Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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