I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
