I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
