I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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