The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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