guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
