lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
