I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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