After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you would pick up someone in the library
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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