No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
