census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
