Can Purell be used as lube?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
