There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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