haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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