ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
