I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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