My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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