you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
