Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
