its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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