I just threw up on my dentist
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
